


The Feelings During The Physical

by tiniper



Category: Naruto
Genre: Consensual Sex, Emotional Sex, First Kiss, First Time, Hand Jobs, Happy Sex, M/M, mostly just sex, they are adults
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 07:50:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16740016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiniper/pseuds/tiniper
Summary: Just their first kiss. Then just the first time they have sex.There are lots of feelings all over the place though. Like feelings. It's lovely and sweet.Now edited for better readability!





	1. First Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> I had plans to write a big thing. With build up and plot and all that good stuff.  
> Instead, I ended up a couple of scenes where more is implied but not shown.  
> I think they are good bits though. So here they are :)

L(ee)

It must be coming to a head, Lee thought. What else could all this tension be for if not to be resolved in some cataclysmic moment that changed lives forever. Gaara was so close. So unusually touchable compared to how he carried himself while making his rounds as the Kazekage or even while he talked with their mutual friends. Every facet of Gaara seemed carved out to express just how very little he needed anybody. How he did not even want anybody. Not personally at least. Lee had been so confused lately. Sometimes it was like the Gaara he spent time with was a completely separate Gaara from the one he saw with others. His Gaara, the one he sparred with and talked to for hours, who- who flirted with him, could not be the unfeeling person others thought to warn him off of. No. Lee was sure that Gaara was not being coldly oblivious to how closely he stood by him now. A cold Gaara would never have gone out of his way to meet Lee in the middle of the night just to walk home with him after a long day of work. Gaara would not let just anyone lean in so slowly, drawn in like a magnet, half lidded eyes dropping to make sure lips were still there and soft and willing.

G(aara)

He was close, so close that if Gaara was not currently anticipating his first kiss, he would have leaned up and taken Lee’s lips for himself. He wanted Lee to kiss him first though. Hopefully sometime this year. Gaara did not think that, short of wrangling the sandshrew monster back under control, he had ever had to work so hard for anything before. This effort with Lee was a struggle between forcing himself out of his comfort zone and simultaneously standing firmly inside it. He did this by being as inviting as he knew how. He needed Lee to come to him. Lee was brave almost to the point of stupidity. Maybe he was brave enough, stupid enough, to try something with Gaara that nobody else would. Finally, finally some contact, some physical affection. Any second. 

Lee’s nose bumped against his cheek, “Gaara,” he breathed, barely a whisper away, “am I misreading the situation?” he asked sheepishly. 

How? Gaara wondered angrily. He felt the sand flare up around him, covering him protectively, ready to lash out. He did not want to do this this way but the words were already on his tongue, “What situation?” he asked, cold as ice.

L

He frowned. What situation? Gaara was joking. He was very good at jokes, too good, sometimes, when people weren’t careful they might be inclined to take the Kazekage a little too seriously. Lee tried very hard to remember that Gaara was all sorts of of a person: a skilled ninja, the kazekage, a demon carrier, and most importantly an inexperienced young man. Lee thought that, possibly, this was a combination of him being a little dense and Gaara being a little shy. “I think I understand,” he announced. Gaara looked a little more expectant now, hope lurking just there. “I am a gentleman and gentlemen never makes such forward advances without receiving permission. So. Please, may I kiss you? I have wanted to for a long while now,” He could feel his cheeks burning red, if it was his whole face he should not be surprised at all.

G

That was more than he’d been prepared for. He should have known. Lee didn’t have subtle bone in his whole body and naturally he would bypass what Gaara imagined to be a simple first kiss straight into a full declaration of intent. Something bloomed outward in his chest. Lee wanted to kiss him too and all Gaara had to do to make it happen was take one small action. His chin lifted to the top of what was going to be nod. It never managed to make the downward descent because Lee met him there. He must have read the movement. Such an excellent shinobi to always be able to read every small gesture. Perfect. Soft lips and firm hands on his face to hold him there. Keeping him steady and there to be kissed again. And then again. Gentle little kisses that parted his lips so naturally and gradually that when the touch of Lee's tongue came wet and warm into his mouth it seemed entirely right to follow it right back with his own.

L

Lee’s wanted to pull him hard against his chest, pull his face toward his and completely plunder the perfect mouth that he’d just been so intimately introduced to. He pulled away instead, not far just out of kissing range. Gaara blinked, dazed, then settling into this new distance glared at Lee with such ferocity that Lee had to laugh. “Oh, Gaara,” he grinned and dove forward for more kisses which must have been the right thing to do because this time Gaara fisted the fabric of Lee’s suit, a firm reminder to not abandon the kiss like that again. He would not, he promised wordlessly into Gaara’s mouth.


	2. Their First Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have sex in this one.

L(ee)

“Let me,” Lee breathed. He helped ease the gourd from Gaara’s shoulders and set it to the side before returning pressing himself flush against the Kazekage’s back, hands loose on Gaara’s sides. Holding but not trapping. He tipped down his head down so that he could press his nose to the junction of Gaara’s shoulder and neck where he could breathe deeply his scent. He wanted to memorize it, be able to track Gaara down anywhere with it, recognize him with it even with his average and unspectacular nose. He opened his mouth and gave a gentle nibble and laved his way upwards. When he reached his ear he sucked the lobe into his mouth and tugged with his teeth. 

“Lee,” Gaara’s voice was tight. Some might even think aggressive, Lee knew better, Gaara was nervous, maybe even overwhelmed. With a kiss to the neck Lee stepped back and sat down on his bed to allow both of them a moment to collect themselves. “Thank you,” Gaara said, sounding a little more relaxed, he was still facing the other direction though. Toward the door. But he was making no move toward it. 

“Thank you,” echoed Lee. Gaara came here to see him. Again. Which was something Lee was always thankful for. Lee pushed a palm to his crotch. He wasn’t even half hard so it was easy to maneuver his cock into a more inconspicuous place in his pants. He didn’t want his overzealous, sometimes too-youthful body, to betray him to Gaara should he choose to turn around. More moments passed. “Are you okay, Gaara?” Lee asked. Gaara usually made his decisions much quicker than this. Usually he left once they reached the point when he needed Lee to stop. Lee often wondered about what Gaara did once he left. Gaara turned to face him. Lee tried to hide just how happy that made him. 

“I do not want be a receptacle,” he stated firmly. Lee was confused and Gaara must have seen it in his face. “I don’t want to hold all the… affections… that you keep pouring out for me-” he began to explain. Lee was horrified and sad and tears began welling up prematurely, sure that this was Gaara ending everything. The Kazekage noticed his tears and his hand shot out and grabbed Lee by the nose, “Knock it off,” he commanded, “You pour your entire soul into everything. You pour it into me and I give you nothing,” he clarified. Lee’s lip trembled and he tried to sniff but Gaara’s fingers prevented that and he ended up coughing. “Idiot,” Gaara let go of Lee’s nose. 

“You give me a lot! A whole lot! Gaara you are very precious to me!” Lee wanted to punish himself for neglecting to make that perfectly clear in the past. 

“Lee,” Gaara growled, “Precious or not I want to-” he cut himself off and just breathed, nervous? Anxious? Lee stared at him, willing him to know he was indeed precious but was determined to wait patiently for him to say what he wanted. Whatever Gaara wanted Lee would do everything in his power to make it happen.

G(aara)

“I want you to… sit there. Just sit there,” Gaara wished there was a little more command in his voice. He was feeling a little to vulnerable. Lee nodded and adjusted his position so he sat stiff and proper, hands on his knees. Unmoving. Like it was some kind of training challenge. Gaara rolled his eyes, a private gesture, and sat beside Lee on the bed. “I’ll stop if you say or you can just leave, I won’t be mad,” he said, it’s what Lee always said to him and it always turned out to be true and it always made him feel… safer. Better. 

“I won’t,” Lee said, fully trusting. Which was nice but also something that was ever concerning.

L

Determined to give his best at ‘just sit there’ Lee did not even turn to look at Gaara to reassure him, he would be the absolute best at this for him. Gaara leaned against his side and looped an arm under Lee’s taking his hand. He watched and Gaara linked their fingers and brought their joined hands to his mouth so he could kiss the back of Lee’s hand. He felt butterflies swell up from his belly and into his pounding chest. 

“I want to fill you up too,” Gaara admitted. 

Lee did not hate that idea, the butterflies now plummeted downward straight past his belly. “Gaara-” Gaara surprised him all the time, this was so much more than a surprise. 

“I feast on your affection and then I let you starve. I want to fix that,” he leaned a little further and nuzzled behind Lee’s ear. 

The butterflies settled and Lee warmed with a new understanding. Gaara did not want to fill him him like that, he wanted to fill Lee’s heart. That was so much better! Lee now understood the true challenge of ‘just sit there’ because all he wanted to do was hug and kiss and love Gaara. But realization set in that he must have failed Gaara in this, “I did not mean to make it difficult for you to share those feeling with me. I am sorry about that. I have always been to enthusiastic and-” 

“I like your enthusiasm, Lee,” Gaara whispered and Lee snapped his mouth shut, he would let Gaara do whatever he wanted.

G

With his understanding, Gaara noticed Lee loosen up a little which was good for his plans. He moved so he could be behind Lee. He wanted the privacy of not being watched as he tried out the things he’d been to long scared to do. Pulling down the collar of Lee’s shirt he gave a small kiss and then bit down on his neck. Too hard it seemed because Lee grunted quietly. “Sorry,” he was ashamed at his lack of skill. 

“I do not mind at all,” Lee promised. 

Lee could not be trusted to set his own pain tolerance levels, he would likely let Gaara tear the flesh from his body before he said anything close to stop. Gaara circled his arms around Lee. A moment passed where he built up his courage and ran them slowly up Lee’s front. There was so much he’d been missing by letting Lee do all the touching. He could feel each muscle under his fingers like this. He could feel his bones and he could feel the- the catch of small erect nipples under clothes. Gaara felt a little flushed recalling how Lee had brought to his attention how sensitive his own were. He ran his fingers over them a few times, Lee did not seem nearly as affected as he’d been. He gave a firm little pinch which at least got a small reaction before moving up and then back down and up his back to the zipper at the top of Lee’s suit.

L

“You can,” Lee encouraged when Gaara’s movements stopped. Lee felt like a mess. Gaara’s mouth, Gaara’s hands... He was working on a fine balance of reveling in Gaara’s attentions and maintaining his position by thinking of anything but those attentions. The zipper came down and stopped low on his waist. Gaara's hands slipped in and around his waist hugging him face pressing between Lee's shoulders. “You’re doing fantastic Gaara!” he complimented. He had never felt more loved. 

“It’s nothing you’ve not done to me,” and Lee hoped this was how Gaara felt when he did these kinds of things to him. 

“Is there something you wanted to do that we haven't?” and then, “Shall we add to our repertoire?” Lee asked. If he were more the type he would have smirked with his suggestive comment but he was to earnest for that kind of expression. He'd tried in a mirror before. 

“Okay,” Gaara slipped away which gave Lee room to move. Lee wasn’t going to do that.

“You can move, idiot,” Gaara teased, releasing him from his earlier commitment to his task. 

Lee took a slow stretch and a deep breath and in a burst of impossible speed had Gaara pinned to the bed, mouth making quick work up Gaara’s neck to his mouth. He had so much, too much, he needed to give back to Gaara. If he didn’t share all this he would explode with overabundance. Gaara’s tongue, sweet pink, followed his out as Lee pulled back. Lee pawed at Gaara’s top, wanting permission to take it off, nothing new yet, so Gaara allowed it easily and off it went. He licked and sucked and kissed his way down Gaara’s chest and stomach. “I would like to see a little more of you,” he requested, pulling up and kneeling between Gaara’s legs as he wiggled out off the top of his suit and tied it back behind him. He was aroused, both of them were. There had been no hiding it in the past but they both had avoided brushing against each other. Until now as far as Lee knew they were pretending that erections were not becoming more and more frequent. Gaara went carefully blank. Which Lee knew was not a bad thing but his tension spiked all the same. He let Gaara process this new option.

G

“Whatever you do to me I’ll do to you,” Gaara said as he pushed up to lean against the headboard and undo his pants. 

Lee laughed, “I know that was supposed to be a threat. But I am excited at the prospect of it all the same,” threats never worked on Lee. He turned them into challenges or misinterpreted into friendly promises. Or more than friendly promises.

Gaara wanted to be nonchalant about it, he’d bathed in front of people before. Ninjas rarely had the luxury of privacy after all. But this was entirely different. He’d never been hard like this in front of anyone, maybe never been this hard ever, period. Lee shifted and his hands appeared on Gaara’s frozen at his waistband. “You lift, I’ll pull?” Lee offered with a grin, always willing to help. Gaara nodded, pushed his hips up, Lee pulled, dragging him flat along the way, and then there was his penis, hard and leaking, between them.

L

Lee bit his lip to stop from smiling. Gaara, propped himself up on his elbows and seemed surprised at his nudity. When the surprise started to look a lot more like concern and self consciousness Lee slid up his body and kissed his mouth and kept kissing until Gaara seemed okay again. “You have nothing to be embarrassed of, Gaara. You are in the springtime of youth and your- uh,” he stuttered trying to decide what exactly he ought to call it. 

“My cock?” Gaara suggested. 

Lee tested it in his head, Gaara’s cock, that certainly was what it was, he was a little gleeful in now being able to say it, “your cock,” he said, “is quite beautiful,”. And it was. It was perfectly suited to Gaara, a flushing, glistening, pale pink monument of statuesque lines and contours surrounded by a thatching of dark red hair, balls pulled tight, revealing how very much affected, how very close, Gaara was to revealing how much he was enjoying their activities. It was all so beautiful to him. “Gaara, you’re so cool,” he said reverently.

G

A smile cracked across Gaara’s face in spite of himself. “Cool?” Gaara gasped a laugh. Even Lee looked like he realized how out of place that statement was by the blush filling his cheeks. Lee had never been someone to let something like that make him back down. 

“Very cool,” he challenged and slid a hand downward, from ribs to waist, to hip, to inner thigh, and came up under his balls and gave them a little tug. Playful. Lee was playing with him, joking with him, and touching his balls. Gaara was pretty sure that this counted as sex and he was having fun. He was not given much in the way of sexual education growing up but he did learn what other people said about sex and it was almost never something people laughed about. It was a variation of bad: obligatory or tolerable or a manipulation. And if it was to be interpreted as good it was long and slow. Fast and passionate. Loud and dirty. Nobody ever mentioned making each other laugh. Maybe this wasn’t sex yet? Lee kissed his neck wetly, “Am I not cool too, Gaara?” Lee asked, teasing, moving his hand from his balls and up his shaft and down again. So much.

L

Nobody thought of Lee as cool. Lee didn’t even think of himself as cool. He was hard working though, keen on practicing until he was good, the best, a most devoted student of his chosen studies. 

“Hah, yes,” Gaara panted. To his question or his ministration, Lee wasn’t sure. The question had been rhetorical anyway. 

He gripped tight at Gaara’s base, a little reminder to hold off for a better release. He wanted to keep Gaara with him like this long as possible. Heaving breaths and pink cheeks. “Tell me when you’re close,” he pressed his nose against Gaara’s cheek feeling for a nod in case Gaara couldn’t find words. When Gaara nodded he smiled and nipped at his jaw, “Will you look at me when you do it?” he asked. He couldn’t help himself. He didn’t want to press for too much, Gaara might want privacy, he could give him that if he wanted it. 

“Lee…” Gaara said, voice rough. Lee pushed himself up to meet Gaara’s eyes. He looked a little wrecked, he hoped it was the good kind, “Do something,” Gaara ordered with a little thrust of his hips. 

“I will,” and he watched Gaara’s face as he loosened his grip just enough to move his hand from base to tip. He swiped his palm around the tip, collecting the precum to use to slick the way. It’s how he took care of himself. He pressed his thumb to the slit. 

“No,” Gaara breathed, his hand landing on top of Lee’s. Lee froze, he did not what to do anything that Gaara didn’t like. A small bit of him wanted to bolt from the bed. Until: “Like this,” he pressed and massaged against the underside of his cock, right beneath the mushroom of his head. Lee, a brilliant student, took the instruction, committed it to memory and mimicked it to great effect.

G

Yes, this was sex, Gaara decided, both their hands on his cock as he showed Lee the way he liked to touch himself. Lee’s big, strong, capable hand holding him firmly, Lee’s head bumping gently against his as they both looked between their bodies to what Gaara was showing him, he was so attentive. Not a single twitch in his hands going unnoticed. Not a single twitch in his cock going unnoticed. Lee understood quickly and took over. He was a very quick study and now with the proper technique Gaara felt a frantic feeling seeping in through the heady daze of pleasure, not unrelated, not unfamiliar, just a lot and with Lee there… could he do this? Could he orgasm? Could he cum by Lee’s hand? Into Lee’s hand? It was quickly becoming something that was an imminent concern. “Lee,” he panted through his teeth. Lee met his eyes, Gaara could see the fondness, the awe, the love? there clear as day on his face.

“Soon?” Lee asked. How long would it feel like this? Orgasm would be pouring over him in waves if he were by himself.

L

Gaara nodded, looking only half sure, a certain worry crazed look on his face. “Do you need more?” Lee asked. Sometimes just being stroked wasn’t enough for him either. Gaara still looked unsure but nodded again all the same. “Okay, leave it to me,” he dipped down and gave one of Gaara’s nipples a lick and bite and he responded with a single quick thrust upward. A little noise of desperation escaping. Lee could do more. He pulled his legs up so that he could sit up between Gaara’s legs and use both hands and his mouth. He had to soon leave the nipple, Gaara could only handle so much of that before it moved from erotic to the bad kind of too-much. One hand stroking his shaft, the other cupped his balls lifting and massaging. Lee loved this. Gaara was the center of his universe right now, everything he was doing was for him. “Come on Gaara,” he encouraged and leaned down to kiss his gasping mouth. Gaara’s hand came up suddenly and smack-grabbed Lee shoulder, pushing him back as he curled tight on himself, “Good, good,” Lee whispered, holding steady as Gaara’s body pressed itself up to his still hand of its own accord. “Gaara…” Lee was so completely happy. As Gaara rode out the final spasms of orgasm, Lee reclined them back onto the bed and mashed his face into Gaara’s neck, too giddy for words, for anything other being right here in this moment.

G

Had anyone ever been so completely wrought out, Gaara wondered. He felt like he had absolutely nothing left in him. His entire life force left him via his cock straight into Lee’s hand. Lee’s hand which was still wrapped around his softening erection. Which was too much now. He nudged his arm and Lee moved his hand and wiped it on the sheets beside Gaara and pulled him into a hug. Gaara dropped his head and bumped Lee with his cheek in acknowledgment. And then a lump rose fast in his throat and a burn lit up behind his eyes and it turned out Gaara still had a little something left in him because, of all things, tears began pouring out. If he had more energy, he might have run at a that point. Instead he lay there flat on his back, Lee at his side, with tears leaking out in what must be leaving a truly horrifying sloppy mess all over his face. Maybe, he hoped, Lee would fall asleep and would never find out. Gaara’s body betrayed him again though and the silent tears devolved and his body shuddered with a gasping sob that he didn’t understand. Gaara slapped a hand over his traitor mouth.

L

Lee was wrenched from his happy place. Gaara? Gaara was crying? Lee would never forgive himself. “Gaara-” he was going to cry too. He couldn’t not when he found tears and snot slicking his face. “”What? What did I do? What do I do?” Lee needed to know. He had to do something. “Talk to me, please, Gaara,” he breathed, his hand stroked along Gaara’s belly. Noticing he was shivering, he dove down to the end of the bed and pulled up the extra blanket left there for chilly night. He pulled it over them, pushed himself close, lending all the heat he could to Gaara. He wanted to crawl inside him, understand him, do whatever he could for him. “Gaara,” he repeated, because he didn’t know what else to say. He hoped staying was okay because all he knew right now was that he could not leave. Not now.

G

Gaara heaved a breath, the first real filling breath he’d had in too many minutes. From there each successive breath was easier until his was just laying there, nose stuffed, eyes heavy, Lee wrapped around him breathing his name softly every so often. “Lee,” he whispered, his voice as destroyed as the rest of him. 

“What can I do?” Lee asked. 

Gaara was 100% sure there were absolutely no tears left in him but that made him feel like he could cry again. “Am I...ridiculous?” He asked, he didn't not know why that was the first thing he asked. He was much more in need of some tissues, a cloth to clean up himself up with, a snack. He was ridiculous. 

“Sometimes, not right now though,” Lee promised. Gaara appreciated the lie and the honesty. “I’m not sure what happened,” he admitted, a little frustrated. “Was it-” Lee faltered, “Was it because it was bad?” Lee offered for a solution. 

“No,” Gaara answered emphatically, that he was sure off, was certain it was nothing bad at all. It had been so good. Too good. Too much. 

“You don’t want me to leave?” he tried to confirm. 

Gaara would definitely cry again if he did that, he couldn’t do that again. “No. Though if you’d like to-” he felt like he needed to offer anyway. Lee pushed up and Gaara felt like he might collapse in upon himself. If Lee left, he might never crawl out of bed. It wasn’t even his bed. One of his siblings would come looking for him. He didn’t want to have sand burial one of them.

L

Lee leaned over Gaara, the most serious face he could make fixed in place, “I will not be going anywhere unless you explicitly tell me to. You will need to be very, very, clear about it too,” Lee waited for some kind of understand to dawn on Gaara’s face. He was sure it would be subtle but he was ready to spot it. Something flickered in Gaara’s eyes and his hand wrapped around Lee’s neck and pulled him down into a kiss. Just a brush of lips on lips. So, maybe not so subtle, he amended. That worked too.

“A washcloth,” Gaara said. 

“On it!” Lee bolted into the connected bathroom and waited impatiently for the tap to warm up. He leaned back to keep an eye on Gaara, but he seemed calm, if a little more mellow? Maybe? Warm wet clothes in hand he returned to his bed. He had meant to do the cleaning up for him but Gaara took the cloth and wiped his face with it before shoving it under the comforter to clean up- Lee blushed- the cum that must have dried on his skin. Lee looked at his hand which had helped make the mess. “I didn’t even get to taste it,” he sighed.

G

He didn't get to taste it. Surely he didn’t mean- Gaara stopped cleaning himself to stare at Lee and watch him lift his hand up to his face to sniff for traces of cum. There must be none there because Lee pouted. Pouted at the lost opportunity to taste Gaara’s cum. His cock gave a twitch of sympathy, an offer to help remedy that misfortune. Absolutely not, he was tired and hungry he did not have it in him to be horny or distraught anymore tonight. “You’re out of luck today, maybe some other time,” he continued cleaning, using more focus than truly needed to avoid looking at Lee. If Lee didn’t want there to be a next time with him he did not want to see the rejection. 

“If you would let me, I would be very thorough,” Lee promised as though there were no other possibilities. 

Next time it would be Gaara’s turn, but he wasn’t going to argue with Lee about turns right now. “I would,” he murmured and watched something fiery light up in Lee’s eyes. He tossed the washcloth to the side and flipped the blanket so that Lee could slip under and join him. 

“Not tonight though,” Lee whispered slipping arms around him tightly. Yes, Gaara thought, he needed a bit of recovery anyway and let himself be maneuvered onto his side and against Lee’s chest.

L

Love, love, love, Lee felt his heart sing as he drifted to sleep.

G

Lee, Lee, Lee… Gaara pressed Lee’s palm flat over his chest, over his heart, and fell into an easy sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember me writing this a few years ago and I swear to you it was more smutty. More scandalous? Would have required about 2 pages of tagged warnings for various devious sex acts? And now its just one hand job and tons of feelings! I love it but what? Oh well :)

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter is the sex!


End file.
